I hope the day never comes when even my tears freeze over

I hate being all alone in this room as it grates away at my mind
My shirt left out to dry, its collar all askew　　
No matter how long I wait, the thinning of the soles of my shoes continues
Even though I have nowhere to go
I can’t help running my fingers over those worn-out edges over and over

I keep hoping the day never comes

When even my tears freeze over
Filled with that same tender violence as admiring a flower in bloom
To keep those sharp claws from harming anyone　　
I have to destroy them, no matter what it takes

I board a ship of Theseus irreversibly, just like fabric coming apart at the seams
Hoping to move forward toward the future　
But the harder I wished, the further and further away it grew

Until I can fill the hole raindrops bore through the stone
With an offering of flowers to my daily life　

Even these tears of mine dried up with no reason at all　
All I did was cry, but I would never let myself indulge in that horrible weakness again
The innocent sparkle in those eyes like you get from eating a sweet treat in one bite
To keep those sharp claws and the rough edges rubbing against open wounds from reaching anyone
I have to destroy them, I have to, no matter what it takes

涙さえも凍てついた日々が来ないように

意思を消す部屋に一人きりは嫌だし、
畳まずに干したままのシャツの襟はよれたままで
待っても共に移ろいだ靴の底は薄く、
とうに何処へも行けやしないのに
洗いざらした輪郭に触れ、触れる

涙さえも凍てついた

日々が来ないようにと
咲った花を愛でるような柔い乱暴を湛えた
その鋭い爪が、誰にも届かぬように
僕が必ず、壊さなきゃ

ほどけてもつれる布のように不可逆なテセウスの船に乗って
僕は未来を歩んでみたいと
願えば願うほどそれは遠ざかるものだ

雨垂れが穿つ石の穴に、
暮らす日々の花を手向けるまで

この涙さえも無意味に消えた
泣いていただけ、あの忌み嫌った弱さを二度と許さない
甘い菓子ひと呑みにするような無邪気で眩い目の光と
鋭い爪や、傷に触れる鱗や角が、誰にも届かぬように
僕が必ず、僕が必ず壊さなきゃ