Riding at the speed of wind, descending that hill on third street,
Where the smell of flowers is strong enough to make anyone choke;
Fooling around while shouting a song of light-filled summer:
I was watching everything you did from my window,
Cursing my body all the while.
Back then,
In that secret place behind the cinema,
That was popular with the young boys,
You were making pacts of blood,
Where almost anything could happen –
It’s because you didn’t know anything that you were capable of everything.
“Even if the adults look displeased, you never seem to care,”
I whispered, closing the window.
I had my own secrets too;
Every night, I was becoming you inside my dreams.
Then I met you there, when I was dragged to church on the weekend.
I was sulking, averting my eyes.
You found me right away,
And at a speed typical of young boys, we were laughing, becoming friends –
Light had broken through.
From here on out, we’ll be the one in the same… that’s what I thought, but it wasn’t true.
It was only for that day… only that one time.
I’d merely met eyes with a bird peering into my bird cage….
… and I stopped dreaming.
I’ve somehow become an adult, and finally started being able to dream again:
From inside this bird cage, I say goodbye to you.
I say goodbye to you, again and again.
I say goodbye to you… I say goodbye to you…
My eternal dream. My eternal shadow.