Society’s collapsing; hanging by a thread
The kids are running wild and chivalry is dead
Let’s be better than before
I’ll give the tools you need to become one of the Moral Elite

(High, high, high morals!)

If you see a potted plant that’s drying in the sun,
Then giving it some water is Morals 101
And if rushing to its aid makes something fragile break
It’s moral to admit your mistake

Feed the birds until they can’t fly
While keeping your neighbor dry
And giving an autographed photo to ravenous fans
Pick up somebody else’s litter
Clean a dumpster until it glitters
You have to treat things morally every time you can

It feels so good when your morals are praised
So listen to the voice you’re hearing deep inside
When times are tough and you’ve lost your way
Just remember that virtue is always repaid
If you keep all your morals high

(High, high, high morals!)

What’s this money doing here, in a fountain running dry?
I guess I’ll give it all to a waiter standing by
Wow he’s looking kinda bored, let’s “liven up” his day
In a “morally acceptable” way

Open somebody else’s letters
Help a friend keep time better
Throw a party and bring along every person you know
See a bomb? Time to be a hero
Just for fun divide by zero
Morality is possible everywhere you go

But sometimes you’ll struggle
People will hate you for spreading the truth
But they’re all morons, don’t listen to them
Only you can decide what is right

It feels so good when your morals are praised
So listen to the voice you’re hearing deep inside
When times are tough and you’ve lost your way
Be sure to consider only your personal happiness when making decisions

It feels so good when you’re morally gray
So listen to the voice you’re hearing deep inside
When times are tough and you’ve lost your way
Remember the wisdom I’ve taught you today
Be sure to keep your morals high

(High, high, high morals!)