I want to say “It’s not you,” and make you think it’s all in your head
Even if the truth comes out, I’ll just play it off, so don’t try to fight it
I don’t want you to line us up neatly alphabetically or by height
Don’t go and leave me the oh-so-lucky one
There’s no place to escape to if you don’t have anyone
Don’t turn my miracle eyes away yet
Let’s drown out the laughter of all those birds that hate me
My disgraceful amount of focus—

Turned up, threw up, tweeted out from my 7th account
Day after day of handing over my ATP so easily

Now my head’s clear, and it’s so frustrating
If I could’ve borne it all unconsciously, it’d have been so much easier
I can’t laugh it off indifferently, I’m trying to keep up appearances
To those blocking my way and bursting with laughter
I can speak nothing but words of thanks
There’s no need to go back
The way things are now, I’ll just go home and sleep

A method of smiling and nodding so much it’s strange
I couldn’t allow it to show on my face
I’ll cry myself exhausted and learn how to reset
If you’re not interested, then just leave me be

Unassailable, unintelligible, unable to remember which floor… It’s not even funny
Day after day of scrutinizing next week’s program

Now my head’s clear, and it’s so frustrating
If I could’ve borne it all unconsciously, it’d have been so much easier
I can’t laugh it off indifferently, I’m trying to keep up appearances
To those blocking my way and bursting with laughter
I can speak nothing but words of thanks
There’s no need to go back
The way things are now, I’ll just go home and sleep

The mock strawberry you gave me… Your first-place spot that I wasn’t ripe enough for
I’ll eat them up, so I can never forget
Until my tears from ago, and the wrong answer
Can be saved from paradoxical logic

Now my head’s clear, and it’s so frustrating
If I could’ve borne it all unconsciously, it’d have been so much easier
I can’t laugh it off indifferently, I’m trying to keep up appearances
To those blocking my way and bursting with laughter
I can speak nothing but words of thanks
There’s no need to go back
The way things are now, I’ll just go home and sleep

I don’t want to be known
But I want you to understand… what should I say?
But on days my head is clear, I’ll scream out
Yeah! yeah! yeah! YEAH!
Far away, where there’s no one, that’s where I turn to face you
I wanna go yeah yeah yeah yeah!*

「君のことじゃないよ」　気のせいにしたいよ
ばれたって誤魔化すの　相手にしないで
背の順あいうえお　並びたくもないよ
もういっそ　お目出度い　一人を竹刀で
誰かといないと　避難場所はないよ
ミラクルな目を　まだ逸らせはしないで
あたしを嫌う鳥の　笑い声を消そうよ
端ないほど集中力が

着いた　吐いた　ツイッター呟く　7個目の方で
ATP上手に受け渡す日々だけ

もう　勘が冴えて悔しいわ
無意識に運べたら楽だろうな
淡々と笑えないわ　取り繕ってしまうわ
いつも　ゲラゲラ　道を塞ぐ民よ
感謝の言葉しか出てこないよ
後戻りは　しなくていいの
今のところは　帰って眠るだけ

おかしいと思うほど　頷いてしまう方法
顔に出すこと　許されなくて
泣き疲れてしまおう　リセットを覚えよう
興味ないなら　ほっといてくれ

難関　難解　何階　間違う　笑えないジョーク
来週の献立を眺める日々だけ

もう　勘が冴えて悔しいわ
無意識に運べたら楽だろうな
淡々と笑えないわ　取り繕ってしまうわ
いつも　ゲラゲラ　道を塞ぐ民よ
感謝の言葉しか出てこないよ
後戻りは　しなくていいの
今のところは　帰って眠るだけ

君がくれた毒苺　満たされてない君の一号を
食べてやる　絶対　忘れないように
いつかの涙とか　不正解だとか　矛盾論理から
救えるように　なるまで

もう　勘が冴えて悔しいわ
無意識に運べたら楽だろうな
淡々と笑えないわ　取り繕ってしまうわ
いつも　ゲラゲラゲラ　道を塞ぐ民よ
感謝の言葉しか出てこないよ
後戻りは　しなくていいの
今のところは　帰って眠るだけ

知られたくは　ないけど
知ってほしいよ　なんて言えたら
勘が冴えちゃう日は　叫んでしまう
いえい　いえい　いえい　イエイ
誰もいない遠くで　面と向かって
遺影　遺詠　遺影　遺詠　遺影　遺詠　遺影　死体