Even though I get driven off every time,
I still thought I’d be able to make it through eventually.
But there’s no opening, no margin for error.
I’m so frustrated, unable to accept things as they are.
I’m sorry…

Night falls, and I remember.
I’m unable to simply laugh it off.
It entangles me and I can’t get loose.
What on Earth should I have done differently?

When I reach my wit’s end, I’m surrounded by smoke.
But so you don’t see right through me, I hide it inside my lungs.

If I’d managed to say it
Without choking up, without shaking,
Would it have kept you from crying with that look on your face?
I always end up wondering these things.

Was it a lie? The truth?
I honestly would have been fine with either!
Filled to the brim with thoughts like this,
I’m intimidated by things that don’t even exist!

Things seemed like they might have worked out!
But I was always the one to blame.

ことごとく追いやられては
いつか裏返ると思っていた
伱もなくて 余裕もなくて
悔しくて認められずに
ごめんね

夜になって想い出して
悪戯に誤魔化せなくて
絡まって解けないや
どうすればよかったのかな

困ったらすぐに煙に巻かれて
見抜かれないように肺の中に隠した

詰まらないで揺らいだりしないで
話せたらあんな顔で
泣かせずにいられたかな
あたしは本当いつもそうだ

嘘だって本当だって
どっちだってよかったのに
そんなことで埋め尽くされて
在りもしないことに脅かされて

どうにかなりそうだった
悪いのはいつもあたしの方だった