Oh photographer….
If there’s any way to retouch these photos…
No matter how slick and polished I get myself, the camera’s gaze is so cruel
Whenever I get my photo taken next to a good-looking guy, I despair enough I want to die
When I saw my face in the mirror, I thought I looked surprisingly good myself
But when I see the final picture, there I am, looking terrible, standing out from the background
Oh photographer, please work some magic on me!
If there’s any way to retouch these photos, please just make it so I’ll like them!
Even though I planned to look cool, somehow every time I get laughed at
Eventually I lost my confidence, and got through it by making faces at the camera on purpose
I say stuff like “I’m not that photogenic”, but excuses are so lame
So I did some smile practice, but unless there’s something actually funny, I can’t smile
Oh photographer….
If there’s any way to retouch these photos…
Oh photographer, please work some magic on me!
If there’s any way to retouch these photos, please just make it so I’ll like them!
And now these photos are all done getting faked up
“Who the hell are you?!” It’s pretty different from the real deal
My fake selfies are getting admired so much
That my self-doubting heart unwinds a little
That my self-doubting heart melts a little
That my self-doubting heart is laid a little bare*
Kill me with the flash!
Blast me away with the flash!
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0
Struck by the light, the angle shifting wrongly
Still expecting something more from plain old me
Outward appearance isn’t everything
But in this world, it’s certain that not all things are equal and fair
Oh photographer, please work some magic on me!
If there’s any way to retouch these photos, please just make it so I’ll like them!
And now these photos are all done getting faked up
Pretty soon, the time will come when I expire
My fake selfies are keeping me safe
So that everyone forgets how little I’m actually worth
Just love me already, the unprocessed me!
Oh photographer….
If there’s any way to retouch these photos…
*This is sung only once, but all three lines are written in the lyrics.