As I pretend not to hear
One of my earphones
Gets pulled out by you
I want to forget
I don’t want to remember
Holding my breath
Silently
Waiting for the bell to ring
“Goodbye”
I may try to reach for the stars
“Thank you”
But it seems everything I can’t do
You can do better
I want to be you
I’ve always been filled with hate
My facade doesn’t let me sleep
It’s midnight
And I’m overflowing with fears
I tell myself I’ll be fine
And now
It doesn’t matter one bit
Insecurity disguised as maturity
I wanted to be you
“Sorry”
Trying to keep it under wraps
“Youth”
I pretend to be your friend and smile
Regrets
I don’t feel hurt, not at all
I realized what I didn’t want to
That it wasn’t me
The smile meant for you
Was so dazzling
It took my breath away
I cannot be you
That’s all it is, and all it ever was
I awkwardly wave to you
Like I always do
In the classroom after school
Even this pain
Is a part of my youth
Goodbye
I turn the page without saying those words
See you tomorrow
I tell myself I forgot it all
Surely
Feigning ignorance
Insecurity disguised as maturity
All I wanted was
I wanted to be you