ー”Admiration” is just a fleeting thing,
A tool for enjoying the “present.”
Yet, it disturbs the human heart,
And I resentfully think, “You’re so sinful,” to you, who gives me smiles.
Suddenly, the passion cools like a lie.
I had such expectations,
But only the seasons pass by,
Only memories accumulate.
Continuing to sing as if possessed,
Because I felt that someday, my feelings would reach you.
To the point of becoming anxious about whether you can see,
Though you never come into my sight today either.
Even if my lips were forced to say, “Repay me some fraction of the life I gave you,”
I would at least want to remain clear,
And transparent,
Since it will all end up burnt to a crisp in the end anyway.

I may not improve in my crying,
And I may not be able to hide it well,
But anyone’s tears are clear and colorless.
It’s okay to cry with all your might.

Though I rejected being a “good person,”
I chose words that offend no one.
Even though I hate them behind their back,
I guess I just hate being hated.
Continuing to sing as if possessed,
Because I felt that someday, my feelings would reach you.
If just breathing isn’t enough,
Today too, I’ll die for you.
Even if my lips were forced to say, “I’ll repay some fraction of the life you gave me,”
I don’t want to hear it.
Even red blood,
Seems like it will turn transparent in the end.

Continuing to sing as if possessed,
Because I felt that someday, my feelings would reach you.
To the point of becoming anxious about whether you’re alive,
Though I can’t hear your answer today either.
Even if my lips were forced to say, “Repay me some fraction of the life I gave you,”
Surely everything,
Will be dyed
In a beautiful color I’ve never seen before.

Someday, to you.

ー“憧れ”なんて一過性のモノで、
”現在”を楽しむためのツールでしょう。
ただ、ヒトの心乱し、
笑顔くれる君に、「罪深いね」と逆怨み。
突然嘘のように熱が冷める。
そんな期待してたけど、
季節ばかりが過ぎ去って行くだけ。
想い出だけが増えて行くだけ。
取り憑かれたように歌い続ければ、
何時か君に届く気がしていたから。
見えているのか不安になる程、
今日も視界に入りもしないけど。
「君にあげた人生の何割かを返済してくれ」なんて口が裂けても。
せめて濁らず
透明で居たい。
どうせ最後に黒焦げになるんだから。

泣き方だけは上達しなくて、
上手く隠す事も出来ないけど、
誰の涙だって澄んだ無色透明。
思い切り泣いても構わない。

“良いヤツ”で居る事を拒んだのに、
選ぶ当たり障り無いワード。
影であいつを嫌っている癖に、
嫌われる事が嫌いなんだろう。
取り憑かれたように歌い続ければ、
何時か君に届く気がしていたから。
息をしているだけじゃ足りないなら、
今日も君のために死んで行く。
「僕にくれた人生の何割かを返済してやる」なんて口が裂けても
云わないで欲しい。
赤い血さえも、
それを最後に透けてしまいそうだから。

取り憑かれたように歌い続ければ、
何時か君に届く気がしていたから。
生きているのか不安になる程、
今日も返事は聞こえて来ないけど。
「君にあげた人生の何割かを返済してくれ」なんて口が裂けても。
きっと全てが、
見た事もない
綺麗な色に彩ってくれる筈。

何時か君に。