Before I fall asleep, I imagine my ideal self
Spinning similar stories over and over again
Because there was “nothing,” this was enough
To be able to cry is happiness
Just breathing is painful
Everyone around me quickly compares their worth
It’s hard to lift my head and blend in
I’m fine being alone forever
But you found me
You gently stroke this unacknowledged heart
Saying it’s okay just the way it is, always smiling kindly
Yesterday can’t be changed anymore
But little by little, I’ve learned to smile better
Quietly, gently, surpassing today
Let’s look forward with hope
On anxious days, seeing you made me happy
Just your presence there saved me
These dirty toes, you say they’re wonderful
Proof of the struggles I’ve endured
I’m sorry for always hurting you
I can’t ask for forgiveness, but
I’ll stop blaming the me you hate
Various things, various dreams have begun
I felt like I could reach out without looking around
The face reflected in the window
Seemed to be smiling a bit more than before
It’s a small, trivial thing
But it warms and expands my heart
It feels nice somehow
You make me think that way
You gently stroke this unacknowledged heart
Saying it’s okay just the way it is
Always smiling kindly
Yesterday can’t be changed anymore
But little by little, I’ve learned to smile better
Quietly, gently, surpassing today
Let’s look forward with hope