1.Ethanol—soaked comforts I offered, all kinds of moisture
2.Soaking into my rough skin and stinging; I don’t want anyone to know what sits deep in my chest
3.But here, at least in this moment, I want to be filled with warmth and humidity
4.Weak words—I want to spill them forever, but I hate the me who wants to5.
6.Relying on your kindness, receiving the words “it’s okay,”
7.And though I received them, I dropped them right away, grabbing at whatever painkillers I could find
8.My fingertips keep peeling hangnails; even holding them down, the hope thrashes
9.A pathogen clinging to my heart—I pray it won’t infect you10.
11.Oh baby, this thirst at least, this hole here at least
12.I feel like I shouldn’t let you be the one to fill them
13.No longer even pretending I’m fine—after washing everything clean
14.I want to hold my head high and live straightforwardly
15.I’m baby—protecting the person that is myself
16.Is the first step toward loving you17.
18.It won’t go back to how it was; my body remains bruised
19.My heart stays creased; this is the person I am20.
21.Relying on your kindness, receiving the words “it’s okay,”
22.Yet though I received them, I didn’t believe them and threw them away—striking out, hurting you again and again
23.Before I knew it, I was tied to an IV drip; my immune system scolding this pathetic me
24.And still the pathogens increase; I wanted to apologize to you25.
26.Oh baby, this pain at least, this “hate” inside me at least
27.No matter what I rely on to heal it, it would mean nothing
28.I don’t need an easy, carefree future; even if I’m drenched in suffering
29.I want to defeat myself with my own strength alone
30.I’m baby—being able to take pride in the person I am
31.Was essential to loving you32.
33.I cursed my own weakness; you laughed at it, and again I was saved
34.Hands covered in hangnails and cracks; a heart full of stains and bends
35.Even so, in those eyes that still manage a smile
36.I wanted to become the me who is right for you, the me who is worthy of the you who matters to me37.
38.Oh baby, this thirst at least, this hole here at least
39.I feel like I shouldn’t let you be the one to fill them
40.No longer even pretending I’m fine—after washing everything clean
41.I want to hold my head high and live straightforwardly42.
43.Oh baby, even if this pain again, this “hate” here again
44.Were to stab into my heart and eat away at it
45.I don’t need any more drastic medicine; even while writhing in anxiety
46.I believe—I believe in myself
47.I’m baby—protecting the person I am
48.Is the first step toward loving you
49.Such feverish feelings—at least on the surface
50.I’ll wipe them off, clean myself up, and then come to see you
Translated by:
Thae(rin)
Japanese music enthusiast and lyrical translator. JLPT N1 certified with more than 15 years of experience in the Japanese and Global music communities.
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