Wind through the screen woke me up
The room is already dark
Sleeves left marks on my cheek
Words I was supposed to give to you
dissolved in indigo and blurred on paper
Every time I try to forget about you
I keep remembering you
Even if I cling to you as you fade and get farther
only pain remains on my burnt hand
My heart hurts being with you
But it also hurts without you
The ink on my pen that has stopped writing
looked like tears with color
Relating is distressing but loneliness is painful
Tired of living but afraid of dying
Shadows of clouds and the blue sky
are now tiresome to look at
and it’s all because of you
Noticed I forgot to turn the lights on
My eyes were used to the dark
Wind turned the pages to the past
Another wind blew
Tossed paper planes into the air
The scenes I drew are now on the floor
Gazing won’t bring anything back
Just grows sorrow towards my life
My heart and the scenes I drew
dye in indigo just like this room
“Falling is precious, blowing is beauty”
I can’t just whitewash you like that
Without knowing
Just by looking at you
When and what could I have done?
“Feeling important” and “treasuring”
were similar but totally different
June, sound of rainfall when we first met
July, the cloudy amusement park
August, iceless lukewarm Coke
September, shadows of clouds and shining river splash
My heart hurts being with you
But it also hurts without you
I’m probably going to lose you
That’s why I’m drawing you, so you won’t fade away
I’m not OK with how all is right now