1.It’s a rambling story, but is that okay?
2.Have you ever not been able to go to school?
3.Since the first time I skipped school at fifteen
4.I began skipping even on ordinary days and important days5.
6.Until that day, I had perfect attendance
7.But I knew that if the thread snapped, I wouldn’t be able to go
8.So I cut my arm, then my leg, to distract myself
9.I didn’t want to cut the taut thread of my heart10.
11.I didn’t want to die
12.But still, I wanted to live13.
14.The thread snapped, and I couldn’t go anymore
15.I couldn’t get up in the morning and kept the curtains closed
16.stayed in my room without stepping out, not even to go to the bathroom,
17.praying for school time to pass quickly, quickly, quickly18.
19.My mother, worried, came in to check on me
20.and by the bed, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
21.But unable to answer, she grabbed my arm and pulled me
22.and when I still wouldn’t get up, she left in tears23.
24.I didn’t want to make her cry
25.But still, I wanted to live26.
27.When my mother went to work and no one was home
28.I finally got up and went downstairs
29.Opening the lid of the bento box left on the table
30.I found a beautifully arranged and delicious-looking omelet rice31.
32.After everyone went to bed late at night
33.I went to the living room wanting to eat it
34.There, in the triangular corner full of garbage
35.was the omelet rice, thrown away36.
37.I wanted to become trash
38.But still, I wanted to live39.
40.Wounded. Inflicting wounds
41.But still, I wanted to live42.
43.But still, I wanted to live
Translated by:
Thae(rin)
Japanese music enthusiast and lyrical translator. JLPT N1 certified with more than 15 years of experience in the Japanese and Global music communities.
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